Random thoughts before bed.

1. I once told someone that I think my prayers must sound really confusing to God. It's like i want something now and the total opposite the next.
2. I am addicted to Near or Far by Carissa Rae and Nan Ren Nu Ren by i dunno who.
3. Today's practice went well. There really is so much more to the welfare state than i thought.
4. I realize that God answers prayers in ways so profound that people should just start praying this very instant! like now!
5. I just recieved a text asking to borrow my hard disk.
6. I was happy,pissed,disappointed,thankful,had cravings,touched and excited all in one day.
7. I seriously believe I have an amazing spectrum of emotions. :D
8. I can't wait to celebrate Christmas with my family. Christmas has always and will always be family time!
9. I am so sleepy I had to retype the above sentence three times.
10. I will wait. It will be worth it. He promised, and nothing will stop Him from pampering me! :)

good night people,

sleep well :)

The fall of yet another dictator.

Today the world had lost yet another dictator.

Kim Jung Il has gone back to rest.
Saddam Hussein, Muhammad Gadaffi.
What a year 2011.

Every time I hear about the death of these powerful people,

it makes me realize yet again how fragile life is.

Power, wealth and gold won't make you live forever.

You may have the whole world at your feet.

In the end, 

you die alone.

Than God will judge you on what you have done,

rather than what you have earned.

Why is it that the world so excited when such a dictator dies?

Funny aint it, 

we celebrate their death,

although in reality they are giving us the most powerful message of all.

That each one of us are mortal, finite.

Let us take a moment to thank God for being alive today.

For not forgetting to wake us up for yet another 24 hours.

Celebrate life,

not death.

People come and go.

It's time we celebrate the magic of life.

"You are an alpha female. I don't know why, maybe the Malaysian community does not accept it. That's why you try to hide it. You are afraid to show it..."

"You are very desirable for a man who knows what they really want.."

"Be the apple on the top of the tree. There's no use rushing..."

To be really honest,

I am no longer as naive as i was a few years back.

Romance novels will remain novels,

Romance films would stay there.

I no longer believe in knight in shining armors.

I learnt to accept that in the real world, being in love  may not seem to be as it seems.

The sweetness would definitely be there.

But there's  also the other side.

The  tears. The hardship. The hurdles.

And unlike fairy tales, not all of them can be overcome.

Neither do i believe that i need to be that helpless damsel in distress.

I am an alpha female.

I am loud.

I take control of situations.

That has been in me since the day i was born.

I am not the girl to sit and cry when things get hard.

I stand up and push through.

If there is no one to help me,

I have been taught to do it myself.

To find a way,

to always find a way.

I n so many ways,

I fear.

What if no guy ever wants me?

I'll be very honest.

To see my friends being in a relationship, so happily,

makes me a little scared.

What if that never happens to me?

Than i  start to think that maybe i need to be a little weaker.

A little more helpless.

Lately I find myself very confused about who I am .

Who I am vs who I think community wants me to be.

I no longer am sure who I'm  supposed to be.
And that is what really freaks the life  out of me.

Sometimes I wish I were that I were that sort of girl.
a little less brighter, a little more ignorant.
to care more about how i look.
or to be more interested in why A broke up with B.
to learn more about makeup.

to be able to spend without caring.

to be able to demand without guilt.

to be able to make decisions without being responsible of the outcomes.

care a little less, know a little less, have lower expectations.

.

.

.

but i'm not.

I was not brought up to be that way.
I was brought up to be who I am.
to strive for the best.

to give it my all.

to overcome my fears.

to be considerate.

to understand the value of money.

to value the importance of education.

to understand that each person has a role and responsibility in this world.

that if i do not play my part,

someone else has to play it for me.

and That is NOT fair.

i'm not a very patient person.

and i do not like waiting.

scratch that.

i hate waiting, with a passion.

but this time,

i'm just tired.

tired of the suspense.

tired of the wait.

tired of the needless worry.

tired.

Since young love is spreading round,

there's nothing wrong with a little sappy post eih?

:)
generally these are the things that I believe girls look for in a guy ;)
Contrary to popular belief,
Good girls don't always like bad boys.
We like boys who :

we don't need him to worry about his looks more than us!

humor is ALWAYS an added bonus.

and not the vulgar kind ,please.

We respect guys who respect us :)

this trick always works,

especially if it smells good;

wait, only if it doesn't smell bad XD

And of course,
guys who take the first step.
When he :

or

it matters.
it always matters.
it may seem small,
but it shows us you care; and that you're serious.

And then there's this issue of security.
We love it when guys :

when he's with or away from us. 

from all the dangers of the world :) 


and when they do all these :

 

just to remind us that we are special.

that no matter how insecure and badly we see ourselves,
they know better.
and that they chose us because they see the beauty in us.
and want us to see the same :)

and we girls love to know that he :

cause if he's so perfect that he can do everything on his own,

what are we doing in his life?

And of course the cheesy added bonuses when he :

and star gazing too! :D

 ;)

we like these although we don't always say it out loud.
we like it simply because :)

And of course!
Sincerity.
When guys actually : 

if you can't do it,
don't promise.
this of course, applies to us girls as well.
when a guy actually :

it matters.
and just as much as you hate fake girls,

we too feel the same way.
Guys who :
.

it's just sweet to know,

that even in your conversation with God,
we are remembered :)

 And of course, guys who :

but aren't selfish enough to want to be the only reason you smile.
guys who understand that although he is a great big chunk of our lives,
he isn't the only part.
guys who appreciate our good friends,
and accept them for who they are.
Guys who are all the above would generally be the guys who :

:)
Let's make a toast to all the new relationships around.
Cheers to young love.
Cheers to old love rekindled.
Cheers to guys who make their girls feel cherished.
Cheers to girls who make the man feel complete.
Cheers to those who are still seeking;
Cheers to those who still believe that wishes on shooting stars would come true.

 Cheers! :)

p/s : all copyrights of the pictures goes to
http://theboyswho.tumblr.com/

Dear Jesus,

it's been awhile since i last called.

I'm sorry for putting you in the backseat,

when really, You're the one who has been driving all along.

This two weeks are going to be trying.

Midterms, assignments, replacement midterms and debate.

Without You, I won't be able to make it.

Thank You for helping me out with the interview.

Thank You for helping me out with the legal method assignments.

I am still keeping my fingers crossed.

Please keep me in Mind.

I have learnt to be less fearful.

But as human,

I still fear.

There is this double speech thing at training tomorrow.

Guide me through it please?

Thank You so much for being there.

Thank You for helping my brother through his exams.

Thank You for making my mother feel better.

Thank You for the funny movie-time i shared with my dad yesterday.

Thank You, for everything.