Since young love is spreading round,

there's nothing wrong with a little sappy post eih?

:)
generally these are the things that I believe girls look for in a guy ;)
Contrary to popular belief,
Good girls don't always like bad boys.
We like boys who :

we don't need him to worry about his looks more than us!

humor is ALWAYS an added bonus.

and not the vulgar kind ,please.

We respect guys who respect us :)

this trick always works,

especially if it smells good;

wait, only if it doesn't smell bad XD

And of course,
guys who take the first step.
When he :

or

it matters.
it always matters.
it may seem small,
but it shows us you care; and that you're serious.

And then there's this issue of security.
We love it when guys :

when he's with or away from us. 

from all the dangers of the world :) 


and when they do all these :

 

just to remind us that we are special.

that no matter how insecure and badly we see ourselves,
they know better.
and that they chose us because they see the beauty in us.
and want us to see the same :)

and we girls love to know that he :

cause if he's so perfect that he can do everything on his own,

what are we doing in his life?

And of course the cheesy added bonuses when he :

and star gazing too! :D

 ;)

we like these although we don't always say it out loud.
we like it simply because :)

And of course!
Sincerity.
When guys actually : 

if you can't do it,
don't promise.
this of course, applies to us girls as well.
when a guy actually :

it matters.
and just as much as you hate fake girls,

we too feel the same way.
Guys who :
.

it's just sweet to know,

that even in your conversation with God,
we are remembered :)

 And of course, guys who :

but aren't selfish enough to want to be the only reason you smile.
guys who understand that although he is a great big chunk of our lives,
he isn't the only part.
guys who appreciate our good friends,
and accept them for who they are.
Guys who are all the above would generally be the guys who :

:)
Let's make a toast to all the new relationships around.
Cheers to young love.
Cheers to old love rekindled.
Cheers to guys who make their girls feel cherished.
Cheers to girls who make the man feel complete.
Cheers to those who are still seeking;
Cheers to those who still believe that wishes on shooting stars would come true.

 Cheers! :)

p/s : all copyrights of the pictures goes to
http://theboyswho.tumblr.com/

Why TV Series are hazardous

Because one episode can throw you completely off guard.

you can call it a profound wake up call.

you can call it just another show on the tv.

but the reason why these shows are so appealing,

is because they explore the parts of life you never dreamt could happen.

this goes both ways,

the extreme happiness

or the extreme sadness.

so don't say you had a terrible day.

unless you know what terrible really is.

life lesson learnt.

The taiwan trip does come with a huge price.

Missing one midterm during the trip.

Having one Midterm right after i come back.

Missing one presentation during too!

Ah,

pressure is on!

so many things to dooooo! how lah!

.

.

.

on another note,

3 days to go my dearies!

I hope you guys are ready as ever!

*Exam mode on*

hehe :D

"Here's to you, hoping that someday, you'll realize that I really did care."

the thing about you and me.i realize our radars do not always match.except for the last few months in 2009.

but i'll try my best.and hope you do too.i always fight for what i know is worth it,

but the thing is kid,

i cannot fight forever.

Paper Stars

Sometimes i wish so hard that i could be the on giving you scholarship advice.

I wish so hard that i could be the one helping you through your interviews.

I wish so hard,

that things could be different.

So that i can stand a little taller in front of you when you tell me about your plans for the future.

I think that may be if i had worked that much harder.

If i had pushed myself that much further.

Slept that much less.

Than maybe, maybe i would not be in this state.

This applies to all three of you.

Jon, Fif and Mi.

I wish that i could have made you that much prouder of me.

Someone that you can look up to and turn to in this matter.

For now,

all i can do is to continue folding these stars.

Each one representing my love,hopes and dreams for you.

All of you are gonna be great.

You just don't know it yet.

So let me fold these pieces of paper.

One by one,

Wishing, hoping 

that it would be enough.

4 days to go.

All the best my loves.

you don't just quit.

you don't give up just because it's getting rough.

you fight.

you hold on.

you pester.

you persist.

you hope and pray that you're not overdoing it.

you do it based on gut instincts.

you answer when you feel the distress signals.

you make way when you feel that it's alright.

you smile and you cry to yourself.

you give.

you take a little.

you pray.

you hope.

you bargain.

and plead with God.

and just desperately believe that you're doing it right.

in the end,

you just hope for the very best.

This is the sappy side of me.

Yeah.
As most of you should probably already know,

Jess is a very emotional girl.

She tries to change it, but, oh well.

She's especially emotional when it comes to good byes.
.
.
.

.

And the funny thing is that this time, it's not even my good bye to say.

It's like an indirect one.
Anyway,

i went back to my high school today.
And it was pretty emotional.

For me at least.

They have grown,

oh how they have grown.

From the kids who barely knew how to carry themselves,
now soon to be scholars, talking about economics and world issues

The same people who once depended on you for advice are now in turn giving them.
Once heartbroken over a breakup, now happy in new relationships. 

Once defiant and almost ignorant students,

Now captains and student leaders.

Once the adiks and the budaks,

now in turn becoming the abangs and kakaks.

Realizing that they are leaving and having a future of their own somehow freaks me out a little.

I can imagine it.

It'll be scholarships, going overseas, meeting cooler new people.

and somehow,

that kicks in my insecure side.

for that moment,i felt so small.

what if they have awesome lives and forget the existence of this one,

very ordinary,somewhat naggy kakak?

omg that makes me feel so sappy.

looking through the old photos.

old conversations playing in my mind.

there used to be a time where opening my locker was such a thrill.

walks from the locker to prep were so amusing.

being in the studio was just paradise.

they are so matured now.

they understand things so much better now.

how did they turn into such adults?

since when problem solving and shouldering responsibilities came to them as second nature?

is there still a role left for me to play?

proud.

so very proud.

when my seniors came back and told me i have grown,

that i have changed.

i could not comprehend.

i was just who i was,

just learning as i go along.

now i get it.

i see it in their eyes.

in their choice of words.

in the way the juniors treat them with such respect.

they have taken over my role,

just as i took over the role of my seniors.

what is this that i feel?

pride.

love.

sentimentality. 

remind me,

why were we in such a rush to grow up?

why were you kids in such a rush to grow up?

akak sayang awak semua sangat2.

tak kesah betapa lama akak tak call,

tak kesahlah kalau awak tak balas message.

kalau awak awak nie lupe dekat akak sekalipun,

akk sentiasa doakan awk,

doakan awk sihat,

doakan awk berjaya.

doakan awk sentiasa bahagia.

this goes to each and every one of you.

just,

be good.

and be great.

love,

k.jess.

Another Derek for me to drool over.

Derek Hough.

Derek Shepherd has been all doctor-ish

Derek Morgan has been all macho-ish.

Derek Hough just makes me miss dancing.

although i've never really done proper ballroom.

i wish i could.

A gentle reminder to all girls out there,

"Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys won't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree"

there is NOTHING wrong with you.

you are PERFECT.

just the way you are :)

cheers!

The biggest problem with humans

is that we take things for granted.

we assume that we will live forever and have an eternity to do what we wanna do.

for example,

i was typing out a few blog posts about debate and many other fragmented thoughts.

i assumed that i would have the time to post them.

now i've lost the feel and they'll never be published.

today is one day before Hari Raya.

A beautiful celebration that everyone looks forward to.

The mercun and the lemangs and the house visiting.

Today is also the day that the news of two more loss reached me.

While the world is busy being happy and excited for tomorrow,

two families mourning the deaths of a loved one while the rest of the world celebrates.

see now,

the thing is i am not advocating that we live our lives so fearful of death that we stop living.

i just needed to remind everyone (even myself)

that we are NOT immortal.

that we are NOT invincible.

that our loved ones are NOT immortal or invincible.

that we WILL die one day.

so let's stop saying that we would do that tomorrow.

let's stop contemplating whether or not to let that person know i love them.

let's stop being mean just because we are in a bad mood.

let's stop for a moment and hold our tongue, because those might be the last words that you might ever say to them.

let's stop taking things for granted.

stay safe,

and have a happy raya.

so, today was

filled with surprises?

haha.

it was a longggg dayy of classes.

all i remember thinking was i won't make it thru debate today.

my brain can't take it.

and there was a surprise visit.

and then i went back to take a short nap.

and den there was this text saying that practice is cancelled.

God listens to your heart's deepest yearnings,

so yeah.

i am blessed.i get to rest tonight. He knows i was not prepared. ^^

on facebook, the Today God wants You to know application told me :

that you learn what you do. If you worry a lot, then day after day you are learning how to worry even better. If you think about doing something a lot, then you are learning how to think about doing. Every moment you are happy, you are learning how to be even happier. Every time you act, you are learning how to take an action even better. What is it that you've been learning today? What is it that you want to learn tomorrow?

so what is it that i wanna learn?

as for now,

I want to learn to let go.

Let loose those that bring more harm than good.

Let go of the past, there's a reason why it did not make it to the future.

Let go of things that hurt, and let the wound heal.

Let go of past humiliations and faults,its okay to make mistakes.

Let go of the bitterness, cause thinking about bitterness makes me bitter.

Just let go,

and strive towards the future.

and have faith that the best is yet to arrive.

goals.

and its been awhile since i've actually trully set a goal for myself.

infact,i've been so insecure of my abilities for the past few years that i've ever dared to set up a goal for myself.

as of today,

i have 3 targets to hit.

1) first class for sem 1 of degree

2) national novice debate.

3) weight control.

frankly,

it seems kinda out of my reach.

but i'll try.

and if people laugh at me if i fail,

i'll just walk with my head held high.

cause i fought.

and that's all that matters.

and once again,it hits me.when i'm unaware,when i'm off guard.when i didn;t even know it could hurt me.

it strikes again.

so,

i am leaving tonight for my first ever DEBATE TOURNAMENT!

haha,

hold your horses people,

i am merely going as an observer.

but the cool thing is,

i get to watch the best team in MMU debate.

and that includes our trainer,BC!

he's as close to a debate God as we can ever ask for =/

so yeah :)

teehee!

on a totally unrelated note,

the pressure is mounting.

assignments are not as easy as they were in foundation.

tutorials are just this never ending stream =/

and the matter we have to absorb is well,

tough.

bleh,

pray hard people.

we will make it!

loves.

the weather is terrible.
finals coming along.
sleepy all the time.
not good =(

stop.
just stop.
focus.
remember what matters.
you know it will never happen, why torture yourself?
,if u only knew.

i was asked this question :
"how do you think your team did for the drama?"


sincerely
i think we're seriously awesome in a kick ass kind of way.
that's what i think.
we struggled hard against all odds.
we pushed through the insane lethargic periods.
although there were times where the word "i give up" flashed across all of our minds,
i still think we're awesome.
not because we made it to the finals.
not that the other teams aren't terribly good.
not because i feel like boasting about us.
its just because we are who we are,
and we're good at being who we are.

i survived.

yes i did!

it was an insane week.

it was simply a week that pushed me to the limit.

like a spring pulled to the very end.

i thought i would have died.

okay,

so i had my business project and preliminary rounds for drama fest this week.

just thinking about it makes me tired enough to crawl back into bed.

reached home at 8.30 pm last friday.

slept at 10.

woke up early saturday morning, went for mom's colleague's farewell, rushed to buy business stuff and looked for "brides maid's" dress for drama.

reached home at 7, dinner and than discussed pricing with the mom till 11.

took a bath and write the script till 3 am.

woke up at 5 am to go to church.

took the 8.30 am bus back to malacca.

heah,shelly and esin picked me and adrian up at 11.

went for lunch and then went on a search for ideas for bridal gowns.

reached campus at about 2 and dicussed till 4.

went straight for business meeting to test our food (it was kinda terrible disaster XD)

after business meeting, discussed further with esin and kuan.

than we went for dinner, and discussed and practised till about 1.

woke up at 4 the next day to prepare for business.

went to the venue at 7 to secure place and electricity.

the team came at 8.30.

we set u and sold noodles.

ice cream came at 10.45.

started business and ended about 3pm.

went for class.

cleaned up the place after class.

took a bath and rushed for practise and props.

discussed and practised until about 1.

went up and collapsed in bed at around 1.30am ( heah esin heng kuan and shelly discussed about dress)

woke up at 4 to redo script as miss chin wanted a copy of it.

started business at 8.

straight to class

*our ice cream finished selling!*

went to see miss lau

then i went for class again.

after class went to buy props with shawn and adrian.

crazy rounds in jusco and kamdar and mydin.

fell asleep on the way back.

apparently adrian and shawn made fun of me, i really din realize @@

went back to campus for practise.

after practising scene one, went back to take a bath cos esin thought i looked lost.

took esin's laptop n printed out newest scripts.

continued practise and discussion and DESIGN OF THE WEDDING GOWN!

the rest went back at 3.

shelly and esin slept at 3.30 am.

me and heah continued editing the script until 5 am.

than we went back.

got up at 8 to take ladder from fedrick.

went to take car keys from shawn.

drove limkuan and esin to adrian's hse to wipe his fans.

drove back to take scripts and let esin and kuan buy breakfast.

went back to adrian's hse fr "practise" but me and esin fell asleep on the couch while waiting.

drove straight to campus.

went to see miss chin at 1.

went out to buy props at about 3-5.30

miss chin asked us to see her immediately.

saw her,

went back for a quick bath and dinner and went back for practise.

we started our first proper practise at 12am as we rushed to finish up the props.

and that practise was horrible.

and so we continued to practise until 6 am.

we had one hour of sleep in campus from 3.30-4.30.

we just practised and practised.

forced myself up for class in the morning,

kept on practising from 11 until 6.

we made up and got ready for our performance at 7.

7-7.30 was our presentation.

took pictures, went back to cean up and went for dinner.

reached restaurant at 10pm.

after that every one was reluctant to go home,

decided to go to the beach.

everyone ended sleeping in the car (except d drivers of course)

woke up at 9 the next day.

met up with heah at 10 to go to central.

picked adrian up and went to jonker instead to get some stuff.

had early breakfast,took pictures, had cendol and finally headed home.

next ticket to klang was at 4.30,

so i followed the gentlemen back to kl and took a train home.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.(the train i mean)

reached home around 6 plus,7.

ate dinner,slept at 8.

woke up at 9.

first night of long sleep.

breakfast

wanted to got to the library to get info for academic essay.

klang and shah alam library not open.

last minute decision to go to kl national library.

left home 11.30,reached library 1.30pm.

was there till about 5.45.

i never knew it was tht hard to find books ==

reached home around 7-ish.

went to aunty's hse fr dinner,

ended up sleeping there for one hour?

and i m here now typing this.

need sleep.

can't form proper sentences anymore.

just wanted to write this so that one day when i read this again,

i'd know that i've gone through crazy, and survived.

night.

p/s : i have an awesome team and friends

pp/s : my time will come :)

" a child know that he has the right to be right, an adult knows that he has the right to be wrong too"

we are ony human.

we can't be perfect all the time.

If we are fearless all the time, how would we know that He is a Provider?

If we are happy all the time, how would we know that He is a Comforter?

If we don't face obstacles, how would we know that He is a Deliverer?

let's just pray that everything would be fine.

work hard,

and pray.

Dear Jesus,

this is me being whiny and ungrateful.

wait, scratch that.

this is me being fearful and doubtful.

i am worried about the weather during our 3 days sales.

THE WEATHER!

can You even believe that?

of all the things i can be thinking about right now.

You said "peace" and the winds died down.

You have parted the seas for Your people to survive.

You have allowed man to walk on water.

You have turned water into wine.

And here i am doubting You.

I'm sorry.

What i should be doing instead is marvelling in the wonders of your miracles.

How You made me survive 5 years of boarding school.

How You have blessed me with more than i could ask.

How You gave me a perfect family.

How You gave me awesome friends.

How You guided me through each of my presentations and assignments.

How You made things turn out great even when i doubted You.

Thank You Jesus for being there.

Please help me once again understand that with You,

nothing is impossible.

lots of spamming should be expected.

Sorry,

I am fearful

and

i need reminder of why i should not be.

With men it is impossible; but to God all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26