"You are an alpha female. I don't know why, maybe the Malaysian community does not accept it. That's why you try to hide it. You are afraid to show it..."
"You are very desirable for a man who knows what they really want.."
"Be the apple on the top of the tree. There's no use rushing..."
To be really honest,
I am no longer as naive as i was a few years back.
Romance novels will remain novels,
Romance films would stay there.
I no longer believe in knight in shining armors.
I learnt to accept that in the real world, being in love may not seem to be as it seems.
The sweetness would definitely be there.
But there's also the other side.
The tears. The hardship. The hurdles.
And unlike fairy tales, not all of them can be overcome.
Neither do i believe that i need to be that helpless damsel in distress.
I am an alpha female.
I am loud.
I take control of situations.
That has been in me since the day i was born.
I am not the girl to sit and cry when things get hard.
I stand up and push through.
If there is no one to help me,
I have been taught to do it myself.
To find a way,
to always find a way.
I n so many ways,
I fear.
I'll be very honest.
To see my friends being in a relationship, so happily,
makes me a little scared.
What if that never happens to me?
Than i start to think that maybe i need to be a little weaker.
A little more helpless.
Lately I find myself very confused about who I am .
Who I am vs who I think community wants me to be.
I no longer am sure who I'm supposed to be.
And that is what really freaks the life out of me.
And that is what really freaks the life out of me.
3 comments:
Hey Jess! :) Chill out k? I feel what you're going through~ really I do~ but trust that God has His plans for you..
and also, it's okay to be not okay :)
It's okay to show ppl some of your weakness sometimes, maybe that will in turn make you a stronger person too :)
God bless k! Jiayou!
thanks joanna! :) God bless us all. ahhh, guess it was just a shaky day :)
i think im half an alpha female too.half because im an alpha female lacking in intelligence n achievement compared to u but an alpha female(as i like to think) nonetheless.n i do have a similar worries like you too jess.ask esin n heng,last time i gt tell dem my insecurities.was afraid dat i will die a lonely spinster bcoz of my bad attitude.turns out i speak too soon,2 weeks after i confided in them im no longer single.albeit being double w a goofball dat thinks his joke is the best in the world(its not),is short,so emotional(dat he's the girl in our relationship) n hv the worst result i've ever seen in my friends,it seems like there will be someone for everyone.dun worry,he is coming for u. ^.^ he just wanna surprise you.he just wants u prepared to spend your life w him.n if u think u r loud or too pushy,thr will always b sum1 louder n pushier than u. >.<
-wvv-
Post a Comment