im just ordinary..
i'm sorry i can't be outstanding ok..
i'm trying so hard..
i want to make u proud..
i really do..
i'm trying too..

can't u see?

mummy's memory =p

one fine day, baby jessica was 2 years old..
she was having a bad case of dirreahoe..
so her mummy kissed her goodbye and told her maid,k yati..
mama : kakak, bagi jessy minum air kosong banyak2 ye..
k yati : ye kak, nanti saya bagi...




it was 5pm, mummy came home from work..
"jessy,mummy come back already lo!"
hearing her mother's voice,
the excited girl turned excitedly and started running towards her mum...
after two wobbly steps,
*gedebuk* she falls down..
she stared at her mother with a confused face..
mummy couldn't understand too,
so she called kakak..
"yati,bagi anak makan apa?"

"saya ikut cakap puan..bagi minum air kosong saja sepanjang hari"

mama was laughing so hard when she told me this...
punye la lembik anak dye yg biasenya aktif sungguh...
after a day cirit birit,
maid dye plak,
took her words literally and gave her only water..
mane la de tenaga...=.=

hey people...
those that are dear to the very core of my heart...
after the " ohmigod heart stopping moments",
things do move on...
no matter how hard it hit you..
no matter how you think the world has come to an end..
no matter how freely the tears flow and
how deep the cut is..
it will be over...
it seems like it'll never be..
but it will...
and all i pray for is that you will have the courage to move on...

god bless.
x0x0

its okay now...
it really is =)

hello you.
yes you..
do you know that all my passwords are still your number?
totally random i know..
just a random short post..
okay,
i gotta go nerd nw..
tata~

imy

why do i catch myself thinking at times?
*smacks head*
bah.

i tink i scared my mum..
i haven't cried in front of her since i was like 5..
its okay,
i'm okay now..
i have people who care..


i can't make you choose me, but i'll make you regret you did not.

i am scared.
i am intimidated
i am confused
i am lost
i am hurt
i hate choices
i am not as strong as you think
i feel like crying
damn it la..
why in the world was i in a rush to GROW up?

JESSY DOESN'T LIKE MEAN PEOPLE!!

there was a VERY MEAN guy on the train just nw!
stupid guard for the koc wanita thing!
maranye saya!
nama dye ZAKARIA!
SAYA SANGAT TIDAK SUKA SAMA DYE!!
jahat gle kowt...
bah!
we were n the koc wanta thing (stl thing that concept is rather silly)
anyway,
there was a bangladeshi guy in there...
he cudn't really understand BM lah..
n dat stupid guard,
at first he didn't EVEN NOTICE that guy in there..
n den at the batu tiga station, ttbe lah dye jadik x buta n nampak mamat tue..
n den dgn suara yang SANGAT LAH KUAT AND KURANG AJAR!
"NAK PEGI MANA??"
"huh?" *muka x phm*
"PEGI MANA? STESEN MANA?"
"klang"
"PEGI SEBELAH! NI KOC WANITA..SEBELAH TUE PEGI"
*tunjuk koc sblh*muka blur
"YA SEBELAH..SEBELAH TU"
*tunjuk pintu keluar* "out?"
"yes"

pastue mamat tue kuar lah..
n den,
*dit dit dit*
pintu train pown tutup..
mamat tue pown pandang kereta api tue dengan penuh blurnya!
JAHAT GLE MAUT KOWT!!!
kesian tau mamat tue..
just because he can't communicate in your language,
it doesn't give you the right to bully him...
budget your command of language bagus sangat lah huh?
ksian dowh..
ade je cara nk g the next coach using a partition,
xyh pown nk kuar dr the door..
and!
da dgr siren nk tutup pintu tue,
press la the "open" button..
bley je panggil dye masuk blk..
and go thrugh the partition.
benci gle!
ARGHHHH!!!
sorry ah..
tp klu canni lah perangai pegawai pangkat reandah BAJET BAGUS,
canne malaysia nk maju?
bg la slogan ape pown..
xknnye!


p/s : i hate being the in between =(

okay..
i awesomely just fixed it..
but its so ugly and basic!
omglah!
its pink!
i like the pink but not the design..
anyway...
michelle dreant that aliens came and asked me to marry them...
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
epic and random la that woman..
just made my day =)

everyone can't comment on my blog and
i DON'T KNOW HOW TO fix it!
GAH!

i finished my integration and differentiation homework at last!!!

it was due errr..

haha..

not gonna tell you!

but i did it..!!

off to complete statistic work!

had a happy dance lesson yesterday..

m glad the newbies enjoyed themselves!!

was so tired i slept a full 12 hours from 8 to 8!

i.m.scared.shitless.of sem 1!!!

gotta go nerd!

x0x0

i just finished my math test...

probability of doin well = 0

i'm so bad at permutation, combination and probability.

gah.

gotta sign off n start nerding

errr..

now

guess what?

guess what?

since the seniors are having their exam,

we are assigned permenant classes for a month untill our exams..

and guess what?

we were assigned g1..

and guess what?

the class room is right beside the cafeteria...

and guess what?

its nothing special really...except for the fact you can go to the bathroom through a window..

but guess what?

i just felt like blogging bout it =)

guess what?

i had a really emotionally roller-coaster day today..

i know you don't care and you may not want to know..

but guess what?

you're reading my blog (if anyone does) and i think you would wanna know anyway!

and guess what?

two posts before this i wrote somthing about feeling that its hard to keep guilt at bay..

but guess what?

i guess college really changed me..

and i think sara ruz would be extremely proud of me..

cause i finally sorta don't care too much..

this may make me seem like a really mean woman..

but guess what?

i don't care..

maybe for this week, this month, this year or this part of my life in college..

i wanna be a little more self centered..

but guess what?

i don't think it'll last..

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

guess what?

i think i've gone crazy =)

and guess what?

i miss all my buddies and budak keciks and seniors...

and guess what?

i really wanna hear from all of you..

if by any chance at all you read all the way to this part of the post,

leave a comment!

and if you do,

guess what?

i think you actually care a lot about me =)

and guess what?

no one may even leave a comment here..

but guess what?

i love you guys anyway!

and guess what?

i think that's all for now =)

jessy is now one happy girl..

she just finished her moral exam and is quite sure she can pass it..

thinking skills presentation over...

sociology presentation almost down..

now its left with math test this friday and semester 1 exams in 4 weeks!!

STUDY3!

chaiyo! =)

" life is the art of drawing without an eraser"

and i am NOT good at that...

i want that eraser..pls?

huhu..the thing about me is i think i'm rather a pessimist..

whenever i do something,i'll think of the worst extreme that could happen and try as hard as i can to avoid it..

most of the time it works but i'm not perfect...

sometime or another things slip out of hand and goes wrong.

it is times like this that i feel bad..

it may or may not be my fault but yeah..

haih..

thinking skills presentation..

i blame myself for not asking, mking things clear and just assuming..

bah..

flawed.

i m so sorry to you guys,

yi jun, aish, afiq, chin hui and zhen hong.

if teacher doesn't give you guys marks,id willingly ask her to reduce mine too..

cause its also my fault..

so yeah.

i'm sorry.

i don't have theeraser to erase this mistake but i hope i can make things up to you guys if it actually turns to the worst extreme.

and for the time being, guilt pls leave..

i have a LAN exam to concentrate on.

and i don't wanna take it again.

i like how my blog looks now..

its feels very..

ME..

=)

All Smiles Again =)

Hello world!~~

I'm back and smiling =)

this is my 80th post so i decided to make a nice pretty one in contrast to my last post..

haha..things are getting better..

or rather i am begining to look at it in the different light..

being me, i get tired when i try to stay upset for too long..

the sour faces and frowns and snapping at people i love would eventually leave me feeling, well, guilty..

So yeah..

I'll continue on this road with my head held high..

I have done my best and i shall have no regrets..

The road is still long and i have so much to stay positive for..

Why should i follow the footsteps of onother,

when i can create a path of my own? =)



p/s: to all those people who might be reading this and feeling down, breathe..

and know what? go stare at the stars or stare at the clouds..

sing a song and smile again =)

i am in a very agitated mood..

every little thing seem to be pricking my heart,

pushing me to the ver end of my limit..

like a baloon waiting to burst..

gah.

i seem to be snapping around to everyone..

my dad, my mum , my bro and even some of my frens..

i feel bad.

i just don't feel like talking these few days.

when asked " hows ur day?", i'll just say " okayla..normal..nothing much.."

how do i tell them this frustration i feel inside?

as it is they are already trying thier best to get me into it..

already lowering their ego, asking ppl fr help..

making excuses for me..

that upu thing really shot a hole right through myheart...

i don't actually know whether i wanna go or not if i get it..

but the fact that i din get it makes me feel utterly..

useless.

i need answers.

or more like i need courage.

everytime i say its okay jess,focus on what u have now, something just has to pop up..

as if to tell me i am not good enuff.

gah.

i better stop rambling now.

alamak...

JEALOUSNYA SAYA!

blergh

haha!

wheeee!!!

surprising how one little thing turns your day around =p

and fr today it was the roller coaster and un expected car ride with felix =)

nice because of two reasons :

1) i had a free ride home, no need to go all the way to ktm ( n the bus wasn't there, meaning i had to walk )

2) upon reaching botanic he went on a roller coaster frenzy! =) it made me giggle like a kid! =)

so, all the earlier stress and frustration was forgotten (fr a while at least =) )

so yeah!

no need to go all the way to gentings fr a thrill ride =D

to say i don't care is lie..

of course i do..

its my future..

" normal la, like this one loh..what to do?"

just because it always happens doesn't make it right..

just because it always happens does not mean it doesn't hurt

u tell me to be thankful, to be patriotic..

how do you expect me to do that when all you do is treat me like dirt?

friday come quickly,

i need to dance..

dukacita dimaklumkan permohonan anda tidak berjaya...

i hate being rejected

when will i ever be good enough? =(