when i'm stressed and out of words,
i turn to tumblr.
when i am filled with thoughts,
i come here.
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anyway,
i was over at felicia's house yesterday.
and we talked.
goodness gracious me i didn't even know that there were that many things to talk about.
we didn't sleep a wink and i was passed out the whole day today.
we talked about people we love or once loved.
we talked about how high school totally shaped and ruined us.
we talked about how its so amazing that you can love and be hurt by a person so badly.
we talked about our future and our worries.
we talked about family,friends, dreams, our country and lam fung :D

and these are a few very unorganized fragments of thoughts that i wanted to write down before i forget them.

1) People change. I have now learnt never to promise that i will never change. Promise that it will always be okay. that i will be there for anyone forever and ever. Someone once wrote, "nothing lasts forever" and i refused to believe that. At that moment of time, i wanted to believe that forever could exist if i wanted it to. Hey,i am not God. and i don't think i will ever wanna be God. If i think my mind is complicated, his is my minds times the number of people on Earth. woah! ya, my point is that,we would meet people that will alter our lives forever. No matter how brief the meeting might be. A stranger's smile may catch your eye and you might be subconsciously looking for it over again.I have to control my thoughts and words, for God knows how many times things people said haunted my thoughts and dreams. People change. sometimes its okay and sometimes its not. Sometimes it takes a while but sometimes it takes a while longer. There is no switch to turn your emotions off? That's a dwonright lie. We just refuse to use it. but we know deep down inside that it is there.

2) Our lifes are so influenced by the thoughts, propogandas and believes of the people around us. Why? i have pndered on this before and i remind myself from time to time to work things out my way. The way i see things. but ususally, it does not quite work out. I am abit confused by this actually. Why do we need to follow how the public thinks and work out our life goals along those lines? yet if we don't we wouldn't even be accepted or have a life to live with. funny huh? "buat ape balaja kt kys klu stakat blaja kt mmu je skrang?" that statement stung and going back to kys hurts the very core of my being. i would say that out loud and clear. they don't say it out loud but the stigma is there. so know what? people can think and people can talk. that is their right and i respect it. i will not be bitter about that and i refuse to feel sorry for myself. cause there is nothing to feel sorry for. you'd see why when the time comes.

3) we usually fall in love when we are lonely, not when we are ready. aaah, the big L word. it always feels so nice to have someone there for us. Someone to text you goodnight and call you in the morning. Someone to hold your hand or kiss your forehead. someone to hug you to take the worries away. Love is such a funny and sometimes overrated thing. sometimes people blurt out those words without any need for commitment or feeling. i think how i think now is right. prepare yourselfs for Mr or Ms Right. do not rush. you never know when they are coming and yet you shouldn't kiss all the frogs before you finally find your prince. and most imnportantly,pray. Tell God you're tired,and tell Him that you do not think your heart can stand breaking anymore. Then the relief comes.

4) family is the best. enough said.

5) this one i thought about just now while watching greys anatomy and my very *omaigosh* hot derek sheperd. sometimes, running away is not a sign of cowardice. Running once in the while is good for the system. It is alright to cave in and run once in the while. You don't only get a break from your troubles, you get to see who cares enough to come looking.

i think that's all i can think off for now. have a great day people.

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