so,
semester 2 has brought forth a sorta craze of marathon-ing something.
my friends are marathon-ing gossip girl,vampire diaries, talk shows and even dragon ball.
and i thought i was set on marathon-ing on books.
i miss reading,
and now that i have the time,
i set myself towards that direction.
and on an even more matured path of non fictional books.
haha.

but tonight i took a detour and ended up watching america's next top model.
i made it through 6 episodes and decided to call it a night.
lesson learnt?
personality is the key.
and frankly,
i am a little worried about that.
i have never been ultra confident of my personality.
somehow,somewhere in kys,
i sorta stumbled and was put on a search to gain my personality.
of what makes me,me.
andto be honest,
i was confused.
form one was filled with insecurity by y incompetency in sports,those seniors were hell.
form two was a steadier ground,
form 3 was more of a rocky sea,happy to get that cc post,
form 4 was an emotional terror and wreck.
form 5 was torn between wanting so badly for time to move faster and slower at the same time.

being in kys was both a blessing and a curse.
blessing for meeting those awesome awesome fantastic inspiring people.
people who made me see that it more than just getting a degree,its about acing it every step of the way.

that was also a curse,
because we became this close minded people.
B was deemed as a failure.
it errected walls of insecurity into every one of our hearts that seemed almost impossible to shatter.
i meet K ummi and she showed me the world was beyond that.
but frankly,
after i failed to attain any scholarship at all,
it just,it was disappointment big time.
my world came crashing down.
i had no strength no faith to meet my friends or teachers or juniors.

it was a wake up call from Jesus.
He was telling me i can't be on top all the time.
He was telling me its time to get up and buid it from zero again.
start from scratch.
i have to do this,
i just have to.

I need to build my personality and let it shine through.
I am not the most beautiful girl,yet i'm not ugly.
And i am blessed with brains.
Come one Jessy,
you have to nail it.

YOU HAVE NO OTHER OPTION.