4 pieces of Mahjong paper conquered!!!
It has been quite a while since i last felt this kind of satisfaction.

.....

on the other hand,
i've been feeling rather emotional these few days..
and unfortunately these emotions have been directed towards this particular person..
i mean i do have reasons to be pissed off..
but its amplified tenfold.

note to self,
*gotta take hold of my emotions; must not display*

i was looking out of the window,
getting ready for bed when this flash of lightning lit up the whole sky.
At least the bit of sky that i could see through the window.
I've been feeling a little melodramatic for the past week.
I haven't been studying or praying as much as i should.
I just suddenly feel this urge to curl up into a ball and take a break from the world.
lol, drama queen much i know.
I guess i just had a bit too much time spent with people around me.
Too many group discussions and assignments.
I need to take a break from the real world,
and return to mine.
A world where my family reigns,
A world where i talk to Jesus.
A world where i remind myself of my own dreams and hopes.
A world where i blog and write letters to God,
A world where i feel safe,
A world where i have the leisure to reorganize my train of thoughts.
A world with some time for myself :)
I'd love a short break,
a 3 day break.
A good time too as most people would be going back to their hometowns.
When i return,
i'd be re energized and ready to take on the world!

look into those eyes..
i feel like i'm being sucked into a vortex..
where she has endless stories to share and tell..
i see young innocent dreams she believes the world has in store for her..
i could stare into those eyes forever..
and if you and i look hard enough,
im sure we'd discover our hearts deepest yearning and dreams lingering in there somewhere..
just look,
seek,
&
believe

..Children are beautiful because..

..they smile with sincerity from the heart..

..they give you the most confused looks when you make them do weird stuff..

..they dream and believe in their dreams..

..they love without judgment or holding back..

..they are not afraid to fall ; they cry yet the get up again,fast..

..they laugh when they are happy..

..their hearts are innocent and pure..

..they do things that make you smile..

..they look out for their younger siblings..

..they trust you even when they are put in most awkward situations..

..they throw tantrums but they never stay mad for long..

..they trust you with all their heart and soul..




childhood is beautiful,
children are beautiful.
it is by being them that we can enter the kingdom of Heaven.
how much i yearn to be a child again.

The moon is so pretty tonight,
its not full moon,
yet it still is so pretty.

Maybe that's how life ought to be..
We have to shine and make it pretty,
even if we do not feel whole,
even if we feel like we lack that something..
be it a skill or courage,
there would eventually be a way to be pretty,
just like that moon.

Hello,
its been a while since i've written..
Perhaps it is due to the lack of inspiration,
or it might also be the complexity of my feelings these few days..
so many things mixed up together,
that every time i try to write a new post,
i end up staring at a blank screen.

but tonight i saw the pretty moon,
and took it as a message from Jesus.
I can make it look pretty if i want to.
Fear and Shame are two emotions i have to conquer.
but just yet,
im not quite sure how.

http://thepolishedpickle.blogspot.com/

my idea of a perfect husband and a wonderful family.check it out ;) i bet you'll love them too!

sometimes its just not worth it to care.

Dear Jesus,
I am here to give you thanks =)
You're so awesomely wonderful!
I had a blast tonight.
Thank You for the durians,the cake, the mangosteens, and the ice cream.
Thanks for all the laughter and more laughter.
Thank You for the pure bliss of Your presence.
You see, whenever we gather in Your name,
there is always joy,
there is always hope,
there is always courage to move on.
You strategically plan the timing for us to gather.
Perhaps we don not realize it that much,
but when i look back,
it is always the times i feel most tired and unhappy that You will pull me back in Your arms.
Thank You for your thoughtfulness,
Thank You so much Lord,
For being there for me.
And I'm sorry,
for putting You in the back seat every time things turns out well.
I do not want to do that again.
Amen.

just for laughs :P

Pa,im so sure sure you're gonna laugh when you see this.
I hope Skype get better real soon.
i miss you guys :)

Of friendship, food and laughter :)

Okay,let's rewind back to Friday.
It was quite a day considering we got like "fired" before noon.
Haih,
Simply put,
we were a bunch of unhappy teenagers who were angry and angry and angry.
Okay.
So, we headed back to ixora,
slaved on the essay,
to emerge not so victorious hours later.haha.
Anyway,
hungry and deciding that yee sin would appreciate some home cooked food,
I heated up mummy's curry and mui choi,
fried vege and some eggs,
asked aaron to get 3 packets of white rice..
and voila!
Happy well fed people.:)


At 5,
we went for a swim.
Silly aaron wanted to do this 1 hour endurance thingie.
And we survived!
Yee Sin, Jecklyn and Vivian watched from the side.
Lim Kuan joined us in the water,
While Jian Liang watched from the side.
We laughed and laughed and laughed.
And had a few cramped muscles.
Okay! We'll warm up next time!
*pinkie promise* =)

At 8.30,
we finally headed to MMU corner for dinner.
Those who swam had wobbly legs and rumbling tummy's..
lembik edi lar..
We went there,
Ordered food, and before mine came,
its started to pour -__-
haha
its okay,
I still ate in the end. =)

At 10.30,
I laid my head on my pillow,
ready to go to sleep.
*phone vibrates*
yee sin : *Jessica,can I come to your room for a while?*
*huh? Come to my room for what?*
* I can't seem to iron my shirt.i need help*
LOL. Seems like God has other plans for me rather than just being lazy on my bed =D

At 11.00,
I was at Yee Sin's room.
18^TH Floor yaw!!
view was awesomely breathtaking.
So, I helped her iron her shirt,
which was rubber based and nearly impossible to be wrinkle free,
managed it in the end!
for her to put t on and make it crumpled all over again ==
HAHA!
and than gave comments on her pants and makeup and what not.
I was ready to go down and than!
*OMG JECKLYN'S LEAVING! SHE DECIDED TO GO FOR MATRIX*
(0.0)

At 12 am,
we headed downstairs and had a short chat with Jecklyn,
planning an extremely last minute farewell,
and than!
*yee sin's phone vibrates*
Lim Kuan * I'm having trouble with the iron*
And thus my first experience of ironing in open air.
haha XD

Saturday,10 am.
phone vibrates ,text message from yee sin
* can you come down to ixora food court for a while?*
when I reached there,
she told me that most probably those stuck in A Famosa won't be able to come back.
and that me and Aaron Mark are the only 2 ppl available to make the party work.

At 2,
I met up with aaron mark and we decided to at least get Jecklyn a gift first.
And so we walked down and got her gift.
As wee passed by a grocery store,
I just had this urge to go in.
We were still deciding where to hold the celebration and ting!
We saw spaghetti!
I tried and error one serving for Aaron to try,
pass! =D

At 3.30,
we had another problem to solve.
Lim Kuan, Aaron Heng and Jian Liang were still stuck in A famosa.
Without them,the party wouldn't be too meaningful.
How to get them back?!
Thus,
Yee Sin and Aaron Mark got a car,
drove there using the GPRS,
and got them back in time.

At 7.30,
Aaron Mark called.
he thinks that only spaghetti wouldn't be enough.
We rushed down to the grocery store and bought 2 packs of cocktail sausages.
I just boiled it,no time la!

At about 8.30,
I arrived downstairs.
They were happy with the food.
Thank God J

Let’s run!

Check, yes Juliet, are you with me?
Rain is falling down on the sidewalk
I won't go until you come outside
Check, yes Juliet, kill the limbo
I'll keep tossing rocks at your window
There's no turning back for us tonight
Lace up your shoes
Here's how we do

Run, baby, run, don't ever look back
They'll tear us apart
If you give them the chance
Don't sell your heart
Don't say we're not meant to be
Run, baby, run, forever will be you and me

Check, yes Juliet, I'll be waiting
Wishing, wanting yours for the taking
Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye
And check, yes, Juliet, here's the countdown
3, 2, 1, you'll fall in my arms now
They can change the locks
Don't let them change your mind

Chorus

We're flying through the night
We're flying through the night, way up high
The view from here is getting better
With you by my side

Chorus x2

 

this time i'm gonna run,

as fast and as far as i can.

you'd catch me if you care.

dear heart,
please do not give yourself away.
dear mind,
please focus.
dear self,
you know it would be silly believe it,
so pls,
don't.

i went swimming today.
And it was fun =)

i gotta admit i'm a tad bit disappointed with dance class.
the teacher is more serious,
the space is bigger,
bu the atmosphere is soooooooooooooo different from taylors.
haha.
oh well,
things will get better soon i suppose.
as long as more guys are willing to come.
come on!
i had to wear heels AND a skirt.
all u men have to do is put on a formal shirt,slacks AND nice comfy shoes.
meh.
i think guys who dance are hot ;)
at least they have the guts to!

i may not always be brave,
and i may often forget.
But He is always there,
He promised never to desert me.
He will bring me through the rain,
And bless me with a rainbow,
a sign of his covenance with man.

doink2~~
slept at 2 to the cheers of excited football fans..
woke up at 5.06 to yee sin's text on spain's victory
woke up again at 7.14 by yee sin's forwarded text,
saying class has been canceled.
bliss of extra sleeping time =)

cause you gave me wings to fly,
catch me if i fall.. =]

i wanna do more than just fly..
i'd soar
i'd see all that life has to offer.
i want to soak in the joys and pull through the bitterness of it all.
somehow k leen,
your wings came at the perfect timing!

i had an awesome weekend =D
i watched Knight and Day with the family =)
i went out with two people that i miss a lot!
i got a digi number,which means i gt to save a lot.
And i'm happy=)

meeting you this time is different from the last.
i enjoyed your company
and i think,
i'm gonna miss you.

Take care =)

it has been an awesome day =)

Jesus works his miracles in the most beautiful ways..
He arranges them perfectly for each and every one of us..
all we need to do is to keep on praying,
keep on trusting,
keep on believing.
Ask and you shall receive.
It may seem like a small thing for others,
but for me,
its the most meaningful gift He can give me right now.
Thank you Jesus =)

If only

If only all the people in world are as innocent as this child..Free from prejudices, free from hatred.
So innocent; so trusting.It becomes difficult as we grow up.
You form opinion others, consciously or otherwise.Last few days have been in a way been hard on me.
I suppose it is me being hard on myself,
about the law assignment.I just want the best for myself,
Why do they take it so lightly?
Why don't they seem to care?

I'm always moved every time I read this verse.
Even in his last moments of life,
He prayed for us.
For the sinners who reject him.

.

Emotions are like the colours that paints the pictures of our life.
If we are blank canvases, than emotions are splash of paint that paints the pictures.
Red for anger, green for jealousy, yellow for joy, blue for sadness, purple for pride..
The artist would be us.
It is hard most of the time to control the amount colors we paint.
Just like water colour, our emotions are very gullible..
Too much water and the painting becomes pale and lifeless..
Too much paint and the picture becomes over expressive, an eye sore.
The trick about painting this particular picture of life is too keep the colours pretty.
Or rather to know which colors to mix.
Mix too much of red anger and the sweetness of pink love would disappear.
Pour in too much blue and your portrait would transform into a sea of sadness,
an unattractive sight.
The catch about this painting Is that there is no eraser, no bleach.
Each colour acts like a permanent marker,
Leaving a permanent mark.
A true artist would be able to cover up the marks with other pretty colours,
Are you one of them?

you know,
the sun will always shine in the end.
the pretty rainbow will be out.
have faith sister,
it will be okay soon!

hey you.
i put my brothers aside and cared more for you.
i made adk feel like an outsider not once but many times.
he has learned.
to be selfless and be more mature.
and you?
you come to me when you need me.
when i try to console you,you hang up the phone.
when we talk, it is always about some other person
abt how angry and hurt you are.
hey,
don't you remember?
i hurt too.

i went back..
and most of the teachers were pretty supportive..
other lashed sharp responses but i guess in a way i'm immune.
they can think what they want,
but they do not understand what i went through.
yeah,
i may not be good enough now,
but im gonna show you what a real fighter looks like.
i had fun talking to the kids tho =)
i miss them lots i guess.

p/s: i learnt that not everything is for us to control and care about.care,but not too much.there's a limit to a person's sanity

p.p/s : there are always those who care.who still thinks you're great even when you can bear to look at yourself in the mirror.

i'm going back to kys..
and i'm nervous.

most of my friends are starting or have already started college.
they are all fantastic people.
smart brilliant and beautiful beings.
they have already obtained their scholarships and have their whole lives ahead of them.
To whoever who reads this,
Please pray for them okay?
I feel slightly left behind
but that is not a valid reason for me,
not to be there for them 100%.
good luck people!!

my house has 3 bedrooms..
one master bedroom,
one room for my little brother..
and one room for me!
we were very excited to move into our own rooms..
we picked out our own wardrobes and our own room lights..
the lights could be dimmed!
we cleaned our our rooms and unpacked our stuff..
we pulled home smelling bedsheets over our mattresses..
we were excited about being all grown up and sleeping in our own rooms!
after about two nights of being grown up,
i gathered my pillows and blanket,
turn off all the switches,
and lumbered over half asleep to my parents' room..
to find my brother already fast asleep there.
i'm 17 and still sleep with my parents =)

i want to marry a man who would make me fall in love with him time and over again despite being married forever =)

yes,
I am this crazy romance fanatic.
I love happy endings..
but then i realize,
happy stories doesn't have an end!

i remember the tears and disappointment when i didn't get any scholarship at all..
but i realized something when i talked to the MMU cleaner yesterday.
yes, i take time to talk to cleaners too.
her son got a JPA scholarship,for medicine.
sure, his results are not as good as mine,
but i suppose he needed it much much more then me.The Lord is just providing for those who needed more.
He knows that i hurt,
but He knows even more that i would be okay.
He would give it to me when my turn is here.